Little J. has finally made her official society debut and of course she does it with a bang, but as always getting there is never easy. And of course there was the heavily hyped threesome in this episode as well. Opening with Jenny looking better than she has in a while, some (slightly) better extensions and a pound less eyeliner, she is soon confronted with the Queens of the other prep schools in town and realizes she needs to step up her game before the cotillion by landing the best date, Graham.
Serena, true to form, has too much game and after accepting Tripp’s offer for a PR job on his staff they start to get too close for comfort. Even her first day on the job the two are starting to get dirty looks from others staff members, who know all too well how these things go in politics. Tripp’s wife didn’t appear this week, but from what we learned last week she is not somebody to be messed with and Serena had better watch herself.
Back at NYU Dan, Vanessa and Olivia are chilling around campus when the rumor mill starts to generate buzz of another fake Twilight movie for Olivia. I really liked the nerd troika that followed them around this week, reminded me of the hilarious nerd villains of the often maligned Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 6. Dan and Vanessa read an article of 15 quintessential college experiences and decide the best way to get Olivia to stay is to let her experience as many as possible. This leads to many presumed off camera antics, fountain yoga, keg stands and the like, personally I can’t imagine any of them being fun with a wet blanket like Vanessa around but it’s TV I give them a pass. Eventually they’ve knocked out 14 of 15 and the only one left…threesome. As soon as she reads it Olivia throws back another shot and proceeds to kiss Dan then Vanessa…cut to the three of them in bed at the end of the episode. After all the promotion for this I thought they found the worst possible permutation for a threesome on the show, but it was still a bit of naughty fun.
As the big debutante cotillion approaches Jenny still cannot secure her date, mainly because of Eric’s petty sabotage. A new homely Constance girl tries to suck up to Jenny by securing her Graham as a date, but Eric would rather Jenny go with his boyfriend, Jonathan. Eric’s motivation in all of this is questionable at best, he claims to be doing it to save Jenny from herself and the mean girls, but really I think he just likes the scheming as much as anybody else in this show. Jenny manages to piss off Blair who ends up helping Eric get Graham to escort Homely Girl leaving Jenny stranded and alone…luckily it is Nate to the rescue and Little J ends up with a hot, well bred college escort and secures herself the position as the Queen of Queens of the Upper East Side. Honestly, I always sort of root for Jenny in these situations and with Eric backstabbing her for not so clear reasons I was happy to see her triumph. But Eric has vowed to take her down once and for all and now has the help of Homely Girl, still my money is on Little J.
Yeah, and also that Anya Marina cover of “Whatever You Like” was freaking awesome:
The Grandfather: Part II really drove home what I think has been one of the most interesting points of the whole season: that the grown up world is just as petty and full of backstabbing as high school. Throughout the episode we see that reflected in the various worlds our characters now occupy. The politics of Nate’s family, and the celebrity world that Serena and Olivia inhabit is just as shallow and artificial as any of the rules about where to sit on the Met steps.
Nate’s cousin Trip is running for congress in a mid-term election and is just shy of being in the lead. Conveniently when Nate and Trip are out and Vanessa is hanging around filming them somebody falls into the river and is rescued by Tripp. This casts Trip in the role of hero and gives his campaign the boost that it needs, but Nate and Vanessa are both uneasy about the events and the election is later that night. Everybody is going to Trip’s party at Chuck’s hotel to watch the election results.
Serena is going to the party as part of her continuing fake relationship with Patrick, the Robert Pattison stand-in who is also Olivia’s ex. Patrick is up for a role in a political thriller and Serena’s boss things it would be good for him to experience some politics first hand. Blair is also going to the party, but since Chuck has hosting duties she will be left all alone and goes on a mission to find a new friend to show-up Serena. Blair’s exhaustive search lasts all of two seconds because immediately a gorgeous, stylish, quick-witted psych major walks in with a designer purse.
Right before the party Vanessa goes over her footage more in-depth and finds out that the man Tripp saved very clearly enters the water on purpose and fakes the drowning. She tells Nate right away and he tries to convince her to keep it hush-hush. Vanessa instead decides to sell the footage to a television station, I’m sorry I mean racked with guilt her only option is to get the real truth out into the public!!! The story breaks while everybody is at the party, Trip honorably says that he is going to withdraw from the race, which is really sweet and endearing. Before he gets the chance Nate steps up and takes the fall for it, which is one of those endearing Gossip Girl moves that in reality wouldn’t change anything the correct thing to do would still be to resign.
The party is eventful for more than just politics though as both Blair’s and Serena’s dates cause some major trouble. As it turns out Blair’s new friend is totally a student by day, hooker by night walking Lifetime movie (sidebar, they really should make that Lifetime movie). And Patrick is more interested in getting wasted than researching his role. Serena bounce’s Blair’s friend, and Blair gets Patrick sent to a suit to sleep it off. The two confront each other and end up in a major bitch fest that ends with Serena shoving Blair face-first into an America flag cake. Serena realizes her job has taken a toll on her friendships (the job she’s had for like 3 days) so she quits her job then apologizes to Blair. Instead of accepting Blair confesses that she’s really mad at Serena’s poor life choices lately and says their friendship is over for good. That seemed a little out of the blue, it’s like Blair was being possessed by Lilly. Serena and Blair have been through so much together you know that they have to make up after this.
Yeah, and also the Humphrey’s were in this episode too! Jenny is sick and appeared briefly to play scrabble with Dan, Olivia, Lilly and Rufus (Eric was notably absent). Dan and Olivia were there playing scrabble because Olivia had told a hilarious and embarrassing story about Dan on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. As it turns out the story isn’t really embarrassing or hilarious or even mildly interesting, but she makes up for it by going on Late Night again the next day and giving Dan a shout-out. Hillary Duff + Jimmy Fallon should not = Gossip Girl plots, I’m ready for Olivia to get her but out of the Upper East Side and back to horse teeth land in LA.
